The Cycle

Like leaves, it is important to change, fall, blossom, and flourish only to do it over again. Let me explain. From the day I was born until now, I have changed so many times. Not only physical but mental changes as well. I grew from a child who thinks nothing of the future to a teenager who starts planning what I wanted to be in the future. From that teenager, I transformed, like a beautiful snake shedding her skin into a shiny level grown woman that focuses on the necessities of life. And just when I think the transformation is over, I cracked open my cocoon and spread my wings to soar over the world to see what it has to offer while embracing the freedoms that I enjoy. Like a leaf, my life has changed tremendously. I have reflected over my life and noticed that I have changed into someone that I never thought I could embody: a stronger, more positive, more determined, and full of life individual that has the ability to speak up with confidence.

Then like a leaf, I fell. It’s okay to fall as long as I remember to fall with the wind, the trip is more interesting. I failed at being someone else that was not Rhonda, I failed at trying to build Rhonda in the way that others told me I should and I failed at being perfect. It’s okay. No one is perfect on this earth and no two people are alike, which is why I failed. Every fall has a lesson. The few that I learned is that: the voice of my sister does not sound the same when I used it, the skin thickness of my mentor was too heavy for me to carry, and the look of my mother does not suit my face very well. This leads me to find my own voice, grow into my own skin, and construct my own face. I fell, but I got back up with these lessons and became this version of Rhonda that is present today.

After falling, I bloomed again, like a leaf on a branch. I stood up and discovered who Rhonda wants to be and I went for it. I grew from that infant of being told who I was into the teenager that settled for a definition of who Rhonda was into a young adult that had no idea of who Rhonda was. Into an adult that is finding out who Rhonda is but that can only be done if I allow myself to truly grow. I have to grow in all aspects to find out who I am. Spiritually, who do I want to be and what feels right. Emotionally, how do I want to handle my emotions and why? Physically, what will I stand for and how will I create a space for myself in the room and world. Mentally, when will I deal with the stress and how will I allow it to affect me, will I dwell on the past or learn from my mistakes, will I allow other people’s problems to become my problems? By answering these questions, I am able to grow again, this time mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually stronger.

Now is the time for me to flourish and display all of my colors unapologetically. Now is the time for me to take every lesson that I have learned and not make those same mistakes but soar above every problem, stress factor, or external force that could impact the way I view the world.

Some steps I take to flourish are, living with the intention of making every day a good day. Even when a car cuts me off or if a bad experience happens, I make it a point to say, “Thank you Jesus anyway, today is a great day” and I move on. I refuse to give power to the bad experiences that happen in life, and I refuse to give power to negative people, places, or thoughts. Being happy is a huge part of how a person views the world, if I am happy then the world looks brighter and feels better but remember my definition of happiness may not be the same for someone else. Another step is to make sure I am spiritually fed and led. I have to read my Bible daily and pray daily for me to set my day in the right direction.  And throughout the day I make sure to check with my Spirit to make sure that I am doing as I should and not as my flesh would like. After choosing to be happy, being spiritually fed, and led, I make sure to have fun. Every day I smile and laugh. My definition of fun is having a good time, and I make sure to do that no matter where I am or what I am doing. Now everything isn’t enjoyable for me but before the day is over, I make sure that I had at least one enjoyable moment and that I laughed and smiled.

Now that I have made it through the leaf cycle it does not mean that I stop here. I will continue to change, fall, blossom, and flourish as a different version of myself that is even better than this one, just as a crab that finds a bigger, prettier, more comfortable shell.