Recently I decided to try something that would make me a little nervous or provide a challenge. Thus, I started taking swim lessons. I have always wanted to learn how to swim. Now when I travel, I will be in the water and not watching from the shore or boat. These lessons have taught me about the type of person I am.

Physically, I noticed that I am stronger and have much more stamina than I give myself credit. Mentally, I noticed that what seems scary at first; disappears when faced with determination. On day one I got in the pool and followed the instructions given. By the end of the lesson, I did not want to leave without mastering what was taught.

On the second day, I was so excited for the next lesson. I got in and found myself being able to swim to the deep end of the pool. I was afraid that I would get tired and drown, but I did not. I told myself, to keep going and relax.

On the third day, I learned how to freestyle. That was a challenge. For some reason, I was unable to get the breathing correct. I kept inhaling water and feeling like it was the end of me! It was so frustrating that I felt like I should just skip that stroke and move forward. Life is like this sometimes. When things are difficult there is a choice, either work at it or give up on it. I decided I would not be the person to give up on this stroke. I came home and watched videos and practiced. I decided I would try new things at the pool. When I went back, it by no means was perfect but I finally was able to catch a breath, it was a little one, but a win is a win.

On the fourth day, there was more practice for the freestyle. I was so grateful that there was more time to perfect this style because this was the one that I struggled with the most. After getting some tips and feedback on how to swim this style better, I felt better and stronger at that style. Again, like life, practicing eventually gets you closer to perfect.

On the fifth day, I thought I was going to die. I literally prayed during this lesson because the instructor looked around and said jump in the pool, “You know how to swim.” I was horrified. Honestly, I felt my heart get weak, my legs tremble, and I began to get sweaty despite the water being super cold. But guess what, I jumped in. Horrified and all! I jumped. I went down and paddled my way back to the top to be called out for doggy paddling, but I did it. I faced my fear of jumping into the deep end. That was all I could take in that class. I was so glad it was over!

The final lesson is Monday and I have no idea what the instructor will have me doing but whatever it is, I am going to do it! I am so glad that I took this chance in learning how to swim, because I proved to myself, that even though it may seem tough, I got this!

I know that my blog postings have been spotty and sometimes it seems like I am on a hiatus with writing. Well, I have decided that I will be posting every Wednesday and Saturday. I will remain dedicated to writing as this is good therapy for me and it most definitely helps with getting thoughts that linger in my head out. Writing as a therapy really helps as it allows me to unapologetically express myself and my feelings. I have made so much progress in my personal life by writing these thoughts and working on breaking these mental chains that choke and restrain me physically.

Not only have my blogs been spotty but so has my communication with Jesus. I noticed that when I get really good at something I drop it. For example, I became really good at talking with Jesus daily, then it turned to weekly, monthly, then back to weekly. The opportunity to decompress and rejuvenate my life could not have come at a better time. I was tired of going to work and not feeling valued, I was searching for a new role and God came in and gave me a break. He allowed me to recapture the love I have for Him and Jesus, along with my love for writing and being curious about different hobbies. Now, I am dedicated to getting back to where I was in my relationship with Him.

My word for this year is dedication and I am determined to devote my life to God and the hobbies that I choose. Life is good and it is time for me to get back to enjoying it!

Pura Vida…

God did it again! I was furloughed on May 5^th, 2023 and the Company supplied me with an awesome severance package. I would continue to receive my salary for eight weeks. I was praying and told my prayer partners that I needed a job by June 19^th or the 26^th at the absolute latest. We prayed and prayed. I spoke to Jesus about it so many times. I applied to everything that fits within my skillset and kept getting rejection after rejection. I knew a job was coming and did not feel stressed, this was the calmest I have ever been without a job. However, as the days went by and I still did not hear anything I began to question if I was doing enough, applying to the right places for God to bless me. Was I viewing the right jobs? It was during these times that my prayer partners came in full force to remind me of where I have come from and that God is designing my new job, so give Him time because it is coming and it will be here by the 19^th. Even though my faith never wavered, I was questioning if I was doing the right thing to assist God in providing me with employment.

Then I interviewed and interviewed and got more rejections. Finally, on June 13^th, I got an offer and counteroffered and agreed on the salary and signed the papers. I got a job. I am so happy and full of joy. I officially start on June 26^th. God is awesome and always will be! This test did not come without its lessons.

Three lessons I learned:

1. It is important to take part in self-care.

I had time to catch up on sleep, start a new habit, and truly focus on God. I had time to finally enjoy the day, relax, and build healthy habits. I started back working out in the mornings and will continue to work out once a day and read for at least an hour. It is also important to take a break. Step back, and do something else, then get back to the job search. Most importantly, I was sure not to stress my edges and lose them.

2. Pray always and be honest with God.

I have always heard people say, do not keep telling God the same thing because he already knows. Well, guess what, God heard my story, worries, and concerns daily. Because when you want God to move you have to tell Him. I look to those in the Bible who were honest with God, such as David when he told God his frustrations, he was not frustrated only once but multiple times. The Bible says, “Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 KJV).” Philippians 4:6 KJV says “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

3. Even when it is hard, keep a positive attitude, because everything works out for the good.

It was tough when three weeks went by and either, I did not hear back or got rejection after rejection. My family, out of curiosity, would ask if I heard anything yet but the answer was always the same. I also learned something else, stop asking people if they have a job or heard anything, because when they do, they will let you know! LOL, those questions, drove me crazy but I just did my best to keep naming things in my life that I am grateful for, to be honest, sometimes it worked and others it did not. When it did not work, I found myself reading, or sleeping instead but when I woke up or was done reading, life was not as bad as I thought it was. It is important to control the mind and keep a positive outlook on life.

Looking from the street view, this was tough. Even though I never truly stressed over not having a job, I did ask if I was doing what God needed me to do. I remained in constant communication with Jesus and was honest with Him.

Viewing from the mountains, it did not take long to land this job. I learned a lot and will be even better equipped the next time I am out of work, because this was not the first time searching and waiting for a job and it will not be the last. So next time, I will relax and wait on the Lord because everything works out for my good.

I read this quote and it resonated with me for so many reasons. In the words of Bruce Lee:

“Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference.

Words are energy and cast spells, that’s why it’s called spelling.

Change the way you speak about yourself and you can change your life.

What you’re not changing, you’re also choosing.”

For so many years I have allowed people to joke about me. Looking back, this has contributed to my lack of confidence. Those jokes have had an impact on my life. People joke(d) about me being weak, my health, mind, body, etc., and every time I act as if it is funny and go along with it. Even to this day, sometimes I bear the brunt of these jokes, however, I try to stave them off with a comment such as, “That is not funny” or “I am allowed to… .” Sometimes it causes them to apologize or stop and other times my boundaries are crossed and the joke is told anyways.

Bruce Lee was right, my body does not know the difference between jokes and reality. At the end of the day, I feel the same way, as if my feelings are not valid. The worst responses I get from people are, “I was just joking” or “You cannot take a joke.” A previous manager once told me, “There is some truth to every joke, so listen and pay attention to the ‘jokes’”.

The Bible says, words are powerful, they can be a blessing or a curse. Specifically, in the Holy Bible (KJV) James wrote in James 3:10, “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.” Words are able to curse or bless the person that is speaking and others. I believe that when positivity and prosperity are spoken, then that is what will be received. I also believe negativity brings negativity. This is why it is so important for me to remember that Jesus Christ controls all things and that everything works out for my good. For that reason, I am able to speak positively even in the face of my enemies or troubles. This is another reminder not to speak negatively about others or their situations because I will be held accountable for the words in which I speak.

Prior to God telling me that I am worth it and a daughter of a King, I did not speak well of myself. I would sporadically speak positively of myself but I never felt good enough at anything. Then one day, it came to me to start this blog, and I did. It came to me to call it a journey of disencumbering my chains because I was entangled with so many different chains. I found that three of the biggest and heaviest chains I have started untangling are not being good enough, neglecting self-love, and lack of confidence.

I now realize that I am good enough and that learning is a part of the process but that does not mean that I am less. I now realize that by speaking positively and showing myself mercy and forgiveness, I am able to accept my imperfections. Those imperfections do not mean that I am defective or something is wrong with me, it just means that I am human and perfectly designed by the Lord God. I now realize that being able to admit who I am currently is a form of confidence and that I need to walk into who I am and who God has called me to be. I have spent years feeling less than for many reasons. But I am learning to reclaim who I am. This has changed my life in so many ways.

I now know that I am able to stand in the room and deserve a seat at any table. I know that I have a voice and that I can create an impact. While I spent that length of time sitting around feeling depressed, less, I realized that I was choosing to let others hurt me. The result was a less confident, shaken, scared version of who I was intended to be.

I am recovering my life and all that I let people steal from me! I am choosing to change my life and the way I and others talk about me. No more jokes, because my body does not know the difference. In the end, it all feels the same.

Some days I feel that I am surrounded by ridiculous people. They live the life they chose, regret their choices but refuse to change, and continue to look to others to either up one another about their horrible conditions or look pathetic to gather support and sympathy. I do not feel bad for them or feel the need to change their conditions as they sometimes suggest because they chose that life. However, their decisions do not stop me from forgiving them and letting go.

Forgiveness to me means that I have released all ill feelings and moved forward. I listen to people talk about how much closer I should be to them and others but my answer is always the same, “no, I am okay.” I believe I should not put myself back in those situations in which I allow others to hurt or abuse me. Allowing others to disrespect my boundaries and cause a false image of a situation is abuse. And I am not willing to allow that to happen. I will continue to speak to them as necessary but not any more than that. After all, I am working on letting them go not re-attaching.  

God has a way of calling me out to ensure that I am practicing what I preach. For a while, I have known that some people required assistance, but I felt it was a trap to grab me back into this toxic web, so, I kept my distance. The sad part is that I did not realize that this feeling was driven by my inability to let go of the past and the pain that this person caused. In the end, I realized it was the ones that were attached to my offender that needed assistance. After a conversation with them, I was able to minimally interact with the offender while stepping in to do what I felt was requested of me by Jesus Christ. It was Him because He made a way.

Is this wound completely healed, NO! It will take time for me to continue to let them go. They take up space in my mind when I am alone, or attempting something new. They continue to silently remind me of who I was and try to stifle the image of who I currently am. I hate that! I try my best to focus on something else then BOOM, they appear and take up my thoughts. As I struggle to take back my thoughts and focus on my growth, I think I have not completely let them go, yet. It is so hard some days because they are intertwined in my life by a thin strand. My solution has been to thank the Lord God for who I am today. When I thank God, it is like everything else subsides. But when will I be over those incidents, feelings, and past interactions? When I truly let go and accept the person that I am.

Thus, I have decided to continue to focus on Jesus Christ and to continue to let Him work it out between me and them. God is the holder of everything in my life and theirs whether they know it or not. Forgiving does not mean engaging with those people it means releasing the hurt and pain that I feel or felt when I am around them so I can continue to grow and move forward. My next step in healing this wound is to be able to look at them and say, that is the life they chose, and I wish them the best without judgment or thought.

Life is beautiful because every morning God breathes life into my body, He provides me with an opportunity to move forward and to let go. Every day I let go a little more. One day, I will be completely free from these feelings that lock me in place and take up mental space. I will rejoice once more when that chain is disencumbered.

Some people do not deserve my time or energy. Some people need to be released. Those people, I do not try to hang out with, keep up with, or even acknowledge their existence. Why? Well, one, it would be bad for my mental health, two, they do not respect my boundaries, and three, the lies that they tell or the way they make me feel does not accelerate my growth, it instead holds me back.

I have written about letting people go and forgiving them, but I realized it is a wound that needs to be cleaned, wrapped, have air exposure, and be closed, so here I am. How will I do this? I have already begun to close this wound. I took a deep hard look into the people that hurt me and how they hurt me. I asked why they hurt me and realized it is not about why they hurt me as much as it is about why I allowed them to hurt me. I realized I often felt hurt by those that I trust and felt deeply connected with.

When I let people into my life, it means I trust them. I trust them with my secrets, pains, joys, and my heart. I hold them to an expectation of being there for me and handling my innermost feelings with respect and love. Then they chose to cause more pain because they know what cuts me deeply, they know how to hurt me. It is so different to be hurt by those you love than by someone who is an outsider. This has caused me to cut off so many people and not trust anyone. Everyone remains on the stranger level with me. My co-workers only know what is necessary, nothing more. They talk about their family and when it gets to me, I share I have sisters… the end.

People have to earn my trust; I will not hand it out to everyone that appears to be a friend. There have been some good learnings out of this wound. For instance, my skin is now thicker than I thought was possible for me. I take feedback as an opportunity for me to honestly gauge and determine if that aspect needs to be adjusted or if it is justified to remain the same. I used to take feedback personally and try to change so that I fixed every criticism, but not anymore. Another example of a positive learning of not trusting everyone is the realization that everyone is not meant to be with me or will be happy for me. Everyone seems happy for my successes but then there are hints of jealousy or bad advice that is given to throw me off track. Looking objectively at people and praying that God shows me a person’s intentions has assisted me in recognizing if they are truly a supporter or a detractor.

There are people within my own family that I have had to let go of and forgive them of their trespasses against me. I have honestly forgiven them and let them go. It took a little while for me to realize that I need to let them go but once I did, I started to separate myself and go to God for the strength to let go. It was not easy. I thought it is okay if they embarrass me because they are buying me things that I need or loaning me money. It is okay if they ridicule me because I am younger than them and I get to hang out with them. It is okay if talk down to me and lessen my confidence to defend myself because they also got my back if I needed it. NONE OF IT WAS OKAY!  I found out some twenty years later when I was standing alone and no one was there like I thought they would be.

That cut me so deeply. I buried it and forgot about it. I kept receiving advice from these same people about what to say to others to show that I can stand up for myself, and like a recorder, I repeated the words verbatim. Then they stopped feeding me words and started getting vague on the advice, leaving me to figure it out. I let these people take from me, my confidence, tongue, and reason. It did not matter if they wanted the little money I had, a car, or credit. I trusted them. I was hurt but I buried it deep. I covered it and moved on like I was taught to do. Hold it in and never let it show unless it benefited me, such as Sickle Cell did.

As I continued to get older, I got wiser. I got closer to God. I regained my reason and my tongue began to grow back but not my confidence. I did what so many people do, I ran away from the situation. I needed space to think, to plan how to get better, how to heal this wound. Every time I felt myself getting peace, I would be dragged back into the same situation feeling trapped. Then one day God blessed me to untangle myself from them. I moved, and I could breathe.

After more time, God and I worked together to start healing this wound by releasing this pain to Him and letting them go. He reminded me that I cannot control my own situation, so how can I control others, well, I cannot and neither can anyone else. So, forgive them and let them go.

I truly let them go. I will not be around them unnecessarily or involve myself in their messes or rescue them out of their troubles, as I have done in the past. I will not stress out about their situations or fill my spirit with their lies or fake stories or the things they hold on to. I am trying to remain focused on Jesus Christ and making it to Heaven. I pray we will all be there but here on this earth; everyone is not meant to travel with me or have my best interest in mind.

I will continue this journey of healing this wound. I will continue to forgive the people that hurt me and let them go with God’s assistance because I am unable to do this alone. I refuse to continue to carry this burden with me any longer. So, here’s to releasing it!

So much has happened in the past three weeks! I will not write everything as that will take a long time to write but I will highlight the weeks.

Three weeks ago, I was talking about how I will not drown and I am so grateful that Jesus Christ provides banks for me to rest on and peace for my mind to relax. I am so glad that I have learned to show myself mercy and patience with my circumstances and with the people that I cannot control. The Lord is awesome!

Two weeks ago, I was furloughed. It was announced to me over Teams. I could have cried, gotten angry, or even say that I was surprised but I was not any of those things. My new favorite song is called Lord I’m Trusting by Chester D.T. Baldwin. I am a firm believer that God will test me to find out where I am in my relationship with Him. For example, I will say, “I want to trust the Lord with my finances,” He will do something to find out if I really trust Him with my finances. Anyways, I told Him I trust him in all aspects of my life, including my finances and career. Well, I was released without a warning from my Director or Manager.

But God told me in advance and I had begun to apply to other places. I went to the Director and asked him if they were going to lay off people in the office because they were laying off people in the Plants. At that time, he said no and he does not think so. Well, here we are two weeks ago and HR and the Director call me over Teams. “Rhonda we are letting you go, effective today.” Just like that. And, “Do you have any questions?” I replied, “No, it is a lot to take in because I asked the Director but I knew it was coming. I will trust in the Lord. Thank you for this opportunity and time at X company.” The reply, “Thank you.”

Then my computer locked me out and I had no access to my personal files or anything. Luckily, since I knew this was coming, I had taken all of my physical notes home and had minimal at my desk to pick up that night. Ever since that day, my mind has been at peace. Honestly, at peace. This is the most peaceful I have ever felt being out of work. I have not lost sleep, cried, yelled, had regrets, or beat myself up. Self-love has made a tremendous difference in how I treat myself. I love it! I love me! I love Jesus Christ! He is my everything.

During this time off, I have spent money as if I still have a job and still do not feel any regrets. My youngest sister, who lives with me has a job and the timing is just perfect. I have continued to look for a job and I know a good one is coming but I am not stressing about landing one.

Last week, I found out that my eldest sister had a role open and did not offer it to me but offered it to a person that she considers her niece instead. I was not upset in fact; I am glad she did not offer it to me because we would not work well together. She holds this niece to different standards than the people in her blood family and I am not one to hold back what I have to say to her. My mom was very upset that she did not even mention it to me but I told her, to let it go. The only one hurting is her because my sister is over it already. My eldest sister does not acknowledge the pain she caused or even felt she should have brought it up knowing that I am looking for a job. But my God is good. It is important to forgive people and let them go. I cannot and she cannot control anyone else, so let them go and let God.

Also, last week my youngest sister started her job and she loves it. I keep praying that it stays that way. In short, God is good and there is no one greater! I refuse to worry about things that I cannot change and I will stay focused on God and the tasks at hand. Like applying so He can provide me with one of those opportunities because I know it is coming. That’s the kind of God I serve.

Stay blessed and safe!

Looking over the past couple of weeks, God has made Himself known once again. It seems that it has been one financial woe after another, but my God is great. He continues to carry me through and show up as my provider. I sometimes feel like there is no way out but every time I feel that way, He does something, or someone tells me something to revitalize my faith and hope. That’s the power of testimonies.

Bible study continues to strengthen my faith and relationship. Specifically, the one last week was titled “Depth & Progress” and it was good. We discussed Ezekiel 47:3-6, where Ezekiel was led into waters that came up to his ankles, then knees, then his waist, and finally over his head which led him to swim. The water was too much so he was led back to the shore where he viewed the river.

The key points that were made were the following:

• God will never let you drown, no matter how deep the river/problem
• There is peace on the shore, just as God told us in Psalm 23
• There are different levels to each aspect of our lives; the financial part may be at our waist, a relationship may be over our heads, and we need help, and the employment portion may be at our ankles
• It is important to recognize the different levels in each aspect of our lives because the devil could convince us that one portion is so bad that all aspects are horrible, and God is not present, or He does not care

I encourage reading this scripture and reflecting on the different levels of problems in life in order to not lose sight of the goodness of God.

Then yesterday, my older sister and her four little kids were in an accident. She lives 12 hours away from where we are and all we could do was pray and trust God would take care of them. My God is so good. We finally got the news, that although the passenger door was struck, they were pushed into the barrier of the highway, all five of them were scared but safe and healthy. No injuries! God is so good as we were all worried for their safety and their health, He had His hand on their car and covered each of them with His protection. God continues to watch over my family and me.

I continue to show myself forgiveness and love. I have come up with some goals and inspired my mom to come up with some as well. We continue to strive towards them despite what our current situation looks like. I have a goal of reading 10 books this year. That may not seem like much to some but for me, it is a goal that tests my dedication. Another one of my goals is to take an international trip this year, but I am unsure of how this will happen as my finances do not align with the possibilty of being able to enjoy the country. I have a long dirt driveway and I have a goal to fix it myself, and little by little I work on it. As long as I continue to work on it, I know it will get done. I am learning that what you put in is what you truly get out.

Overall, my life is good. Could it be better, of course, but it is good. Every section of my life is not all bad, just some of the areas but I know that God is working it all out because He will not let me drown.

It is easy to blame oneself for everything that happens but it is important to show oneself love and forgiveness. As I mentioned last time, I am taking this one day at a time and I honestly have felt better since the week and a half I started forgiving myself. There is less pressure to be perfect while still maintaining my morals and beliefs. However, I no longer feel forced to hold on to past trespasses. I have traveled for work twice within that timeframe and have found that as long as I allow myself the space to make mistakes and learn from them, I end up being much stronger on the other side.

I continue to pray that Jesus helps me to forgive myself and learn from my mistakes. I love that He is a forgiving and merciful God. I love that He allows me to make mistakes and to come and speak to Him when I am at a loss or speak to Him just to share what I have learned.

I am about done sharing about my hair. This may be the last post about it unless it traumatizes me in the future, may the Lord forbid. I mentioned I cut my hair and it was okay. Well, I only did one side so when I went back to do the other side, the scissors were dull and I was to the point of seesawing my hair ends. I decided to go and buy some hair scissors but the costs were high, so I paid a professional to do my hair. I am so pleased with the outcome. It looks even, finally and the stylist said it is growing healthy and to stay on this natural hair journey. It was good to receive positive feedback on something I honestly did not know if I was even doing right. I am glad I took the chance to cut it and free myself from fake expectations of what I am not supposed to do. I am glad I allowed myself the space to try and take the risk.

Since taking the risk to try new things and forgive myself, I have found that I truly forgave the people in my life that I needed to. I let them go and the past experiences. I have decided to start from a clean slate without forgetting the lessons I learned, as I do not want to repeat those learnings. For example, just the other day, I planned to take the day off but the Director was asking work questions. I through email, as this is how we were communicating, told him that I would complete those tasks when I returned to work on Tuesday. I need to remember to stick to my boundaries. I am a sucker for losing my boundaries when a manager or someone that I report to asks me to complete a task.

Some days, I still fall but rising with God’s forgiveness, goodness, love, and mercy is not always easy but it is always the best choice. I thank God that I am learning to forgive myself!

I forgive myself for being flawed. Through forgiving myself first and showing mercy, I am truly able to forgive others and show mercy as well. I forgive myself for accepting the things I see and not the things that Jesus has for me. I forgive myself for all my past hurts and pains that I have held on to. How did I do it?

I left it at the altar. I went to Jesus and prayed, “Lord help me to forgive myself and let go of all of the pain that I have caused myself.” I have caused myself to go through hell because I am unable to forgive myself for my trespasses. As I mentioned previously, I am unable to look at myself in the mirror because I believe my sins are so horrific that I make myself sick. This morning I looked at myself in the mirror. Last night, I looked at myself in the mirror, then had a crazy idea to cut my hair strands. So, I did it. Want to know what happened? Nothing. At first, I felt a rush of shame and embarrassment, but afterward, I felt nothing. I moved forward, feeling like I need hair scissors so that I am able to trim my hair, I know I can do it and if not, then that is what stylists are for.

Life is about living and taking chances and I could not truly move forward because I never truly forgave myself for any of my trespasses. I will remain to hold myself to a higher standard because that is what I believe the Lord God requires of me. He does not want me to be like everyone else but He wants me to be kinder, gentler, and more forgiving to myself. This is hard, as I have always self-punished to the point of illness. One day at a time, I will learn to say, “it is okay, Rhonda. Do not do it again, and you have time to prove you are stronger than the place where you fell.” That felt good to say that to me and to truly believe it, but again I will be taking this forgiveness one day at a time as it feels foreign and uncomfortable to allow myself so much grace.

I have decided to look at the good times I have shared with people and only recall those times and feelings. I have to let go of everything else. All of the negativity that I have been secretly harboring and hiding, I have to clean that closet out. That has not all happened yet, but daily I will pull out a piece of it, look at it, acknowledge it, and then forgive that person or experience and let it go. I will replace that negativity with positivity and ask Jesus to keep filling me up.

I have decided to look at everything as a lesson. There are lessons to be learned or testimonies to be shared. For example, I was bullied growing up. I have learned and testified that people only do things that you allow them to do. If I had stood up for myself, the chances of being bullied would have been non-existent. Currently, I am able to speak up for myself and people respect me. It was a miracle that I found my voice to speak, it only took me about 30 years to learn to say my first no. No, to work, no to family, no to things that I do not want to do, and no to things that do not align with my values. Better late than never. I wish it was sooner, but I am forgiving myself for not finding my voice sooner and saying no to more things that still linger in my life today. With forgiving myself comes the expectation of all things work out for my good. The Bible says so, and I believe in God’s Word. No matter what I have faced, will face, or not face, it will all be for my good. Because God is good, ALL THE TIME!  One day at a time, I will continue to forgive myself and show more and more compassion when I fall. I get up, but I tend to rise with my regrets and self-destructive habits. Now I will rise with God’s forgiveness, goodness, love, and mercy.