I really enjoy working within the Supply Chain sector. There are so many questions to ask and answer, so many people to meet, and so much to do! When I am at work, I find that I gravitate to the individuals in the warehouse that keeps the company running. I make it a point to go down to the warehouse to speak to those whom I met previously and to meet new people.

I spend a lot of time with them because they know what is happening within the business. For example, they are able to tell me what are slow movers or the items that are not going to sell, as they never prepare them for shipment. They are able to share the problems and pain points that the business face. If I am ever looking for a project or a problem to solve, the warehouse employees are the ones to ask. It is amazing how every role within a company directly impacts the warehouse. Also, every problem they have impacts the business.

In my personal opinion, everyone that does not physically work in the warehouse should be required to sit with someone for a day to understand processes and how production affects everyone. I first fell in love with Supply Chain when I learned the process of damaged food cans. I would spend full workdays training with people in the warehouse to understand how the business works. I learned every step of the process, from receiving to shipping and everything in between. Through this, I was able to develop processes that reduced costs and make work easier for those that were directly impacted. Supply Chain is awesome and it is my happy place.  

There are many times in which a person has asked me how to do something. At which point I would provide step-by-step instructions. Depending on the situation, I may even provide screenshots. There are many times when I ask a person how to do something, and the person may provide vague instructions on how to complete the task. In situations such as these, I follow up to ensure that I completed the work in a way that meets the requestor’s expectations, and I follow up to make sure that my process is correct.

Everyone is not a good communicator or teacher. I find that this frustrates me but at the same time I am developing a new skill; being able to work in the unknown or gray space. I am a data analyst by nature. I want to have information available to make the best-informed decision, all the time. However, life is not like that oftentimes, and I must create a solution or guess the problem in which I am solving. There are many questions in dealing with the unknown, such as if I am asking the right questions, am I solving the problem management wants me to solve? The good thing is that I have been exercising this muscle for a little while. Operating in the unknown. This means that I am very talented at guessing the problem and creating a solution.

Some days I sit back and think how is it that people are in the positions in which they are. To me, a lead should at minimal be able to communicate effectively. I have found that there are people that are simply not good communicators, thus making them inefficient instructors and leaders. I continue to pray for those that lead teams and pray for my patience and understanding. I pray that I remain gifted and able to guess what is needed and come up with solutions. Life and people are interesting.

Trust means being able to believe in the ability or character of someone. I have always felt like I am not enough. I am not good enough at this or that, to be good at something. Even to this day, people ask, what are your strengths, I reply very generically with answers one could find on Google. What am I good at? What do I feel confident enough to say I am good at?

It took me so long to trust myself and what I know. I remember one of the best managers I have ever had said, “Rhonda, trust your gut. What is it telling you?” I replied, “Nothing.” He responded, “How do you feel about it? If you don’t know, think about it. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” That was that. I never knew that conversation would hold so much power and so much release with me discovering who God wants me to be and what I am capable of. I sat dumbfounded at my desk, thinking about this gut and trust. Instead, I relied on what the data told me, which was not wrong, but imagine if I was confident enough to say what we both already knew.

It is common to hear people discuss how a new skill developed them through an opportunity provided by their manager. My best managers taught me how to trust myself. How to take calculated risks, and when they did not work out, how to shrug and say, “Oh well, I at least tried. Now, let’s fix it.” I never trusted myself before moments like those. Even after those moments, I found it hard to rely on my instincts. For so long, no one trusted me to make decisions, even for myself. I recall never having to decide anything while attending University and living independently. My experiences, both good and bad, helped to mold me into the person that I am attempting to free.

It is interesting how the way I perceive myself is how I imagine others perceive me as well. I lack the confidence to trust my findings and so I assume that others too will lack the confidence to trust my findings, despite me knowing the most in the room about a particular subject. I hesitate or insist their solution would be better instead of providing the best solution. This has caused me to miss out on so many opportunities, such as promotions. I was offered a leadership role, but I could not find it within myself to be able to trust my decisions, so I consistently thought why would anyone else trust me? Wonder if they said, “She does not know what she’s doing,” or “She’s incompetent.” I could not face that criticism or have those thoughts play over and over in my head, so I declined. People that believed in me were so supportive of me taking that role, but I could not overcome my mind. So, I sat back and hated every manager I had while remaining where I was. God gives me chances to do what He has called me to do, but sometimes I find myself too afraid to take the leap of faith. Imagine where I could be right now. Instead, I am where I am because of this chain that I let hold me down.

The chain of being incapable of Trusting Myself. It is so interesting because I can talk myself into any job during an interview, or into any project or task but when it comes time to make a decision, I run to a corner to cower down and be quiet. I am an odd person. As my confidence builds I feel myself flexing my muscle to tell people what I am good at in interviews. I have so much knowledge but not enough confidence to tell people what I know.

I want this one job so bad. I interviewed really well and am a top candidate per the recruiter. However, to be in this role, I will not be able to cower in corners and not make decisions. I will not be able to be silent or deny what I know. I wonder if God looks at me and says, “I know you can do it but until you know, I am unable to open certain doors.” I am so afraid that I will never reach my potential because of all of the chains that hold me down. This is why I work on breaking those chains. Another example, I have lived in Costa Rica and visited Cuba and I still tell people I am intermediate at Spanish. To me, until I become a native Spanish speaker, I will always be intermediate. Imagine if I just walked into my skill to speak Spanish. All the doors that could open, the trust and confidence I would have in myself.

I read the short motivational speech by Les Brown called The Ghost of Your Potential (look it up if it sounds unfamiliar), it is about a dying person who sees all the things he or she could have been or done with his or her skills and talents. After reading this I thought, I pray that I am able to reach my full potential in life and use all of the skills and talents that God has given me. I do not want God to look at me and say the reason why is because of you. Imagine everything that could be unlocked if I could get out of these chains before it is too late.   

Currently, I am working on confidently stating the skills I have. I am working on trusting what I know and the knowledge that I have. I am working on trusting my intuition. I try making little decisions within my house, because I barely make decisions there, but I am working on it. It is a process to change habits and this is no different. I am so grateful that I have learned to show myself love, patience, and mercy. I am so grateful for Managers to challenge me to grow personally as well as professionally, and I am so grateful for the love of my Lord Jesus Christ and God the Father as they continue to lead me through this life.

I am finally feeling better after being sick for nearly two weeks. I had COVID. My first taste of COVID, since the outbreak in 2019. When COVID first came about, I was heavily warned about going outside or being around people that have traveled or business critical workers that I may have known. Once 2020 set in, doctors were still sending out the same warnings with scary stories of how people, with my same condition, have died or are dying. I heard about how tired the doctors were and how they cried when they lost patients because patients with pre-established conditions are not being careful.

By 2021, I heard about many people that have died. They died because Sickle Cell Anemia causes one to have poor immune systems. I was terrified of catching COVID. I was told that if I caught the disease, to immediately go to the hospital, so they could go through the procedures to assist my body in fighting off this illness.

I did not catch COVID, I thought I was one of the lucky ones that was perhaps immune to this illness. In 2022, I went to Cuba and came back, generally healthy. My sister who was with me, was horribly sick, we both think she had COVID, despite her testing negative. She could not taste and had body cramps, fever, chills, and all of the other symptoms. She consistently tested negative day after day, and no one had any answers as to the virus she caught. Eventually, it ran its course and she bounced back.

I decided not to get the COVID vaccine, there are too many unknowns. Such as, why do people still die after getting the vaccine, and if there are no benefits of the vaccine then why get it?

Well, here we are in 2023, and I caught COVID. I was horrified. It started with me feeling slightly sick, with chills, body aches, headaches, and muscle stiffness. Then I developed a cough, then the raw feeling in my throat and the feeling of not wanting to eat. It was tough to get out of bed or to move. I did not feel like I was dying, which I experienced before, perhaps I will share that story later. Anyway, I remained very close to the bed and everything was difficult. I had trouble letting the dog out to use the bathroom or letting the dog in from outside. I struggled with going downstairs. Then I got a weird symptom. My vision began to change.

I could not see clearly out of my left eye, even with my glasses. I struggled to stop the dizziness and the room from shaking, not spinning but shaking. I Googled left eye vision and COVID popped up as a result. I finally dragged myself to the doctor because the pain in my throat was unbearable, I could not swallow. I would rather spit phlegm than swallow.

They ran tests and said, you have COVID, but the worst part should be about over. I was shocked and relieved. One, I knew what I had, and two, the worst part was almost over. I would lose the pain in my throat. Two days later, my throat stopped hurting, and just about everything cleared up. I still have a nasty cough and periodic blurry vision but other than that, I feel back to normal. I did not die or felt like I would die, I did not need to be hospitalized or around-the-clock care, and my body was able to fight off this virus with the help of home remedies: chicken broth with oyster crackers and tea.

Who would have thought that catching COVID would be a process?

I remembered the entire time that God controls all things. His Will will be done despite anything one tries to change. This caused me to think about a lot of things. One, I thought about a living will or directive. I had one but I am sure it is void by now, I do not even know which hospital has it or where it is, thus, I need to create a new one. Second, I thought about the loved ones I would leave behind. How would they afford to cremate me? I need to have funds put aside in case something does happen to me. Third, am I truly ready to go with Jesus? I thought about this and settled on, yes, I am ready. I am not afraid of death but I do not do anything to bring it faster. In the beginning, when hearing about COVID, I was sure that I would die if I ever caught this illness. I was super cautious and still am about how I handle myself outside. However, it caught me. if my throat was never so sore that I could not swallow, I would have never known that I even contracted COVID. Once I had it, I was sure to treat the symptoms as there is no cure for COVID like it is no cure for the flu. I believed in Christ that His Will will be done in all things. I did not become holier or do anything that I did not do before, God knows who I am. In the end, I came out with a stronger immune system, another testimony of surviving COVID, and a deeper appreciation of God’s love and His ability to handle all things.

I took some time to think about my future and what I want it to look like. I decided that for different parts of my life, I have different needs and wants. Physically, I want to be healthy and able-bodied. I want to be mobile and independent. I do not want to be hunched over, or unable to go when I want to go. I do not want to wait on others to help me out. I need to be able to drive, walk, and take care of myself inside and outside of my home. I also need to be able to communicate effectively and speak clearly. To ensure I am able to do these things, there are changes that I have to make in my life beginning now.

I need to be more active, watch my posture, and continue to stretch my mind. I wrote a little bit ago about memory and expanding my mind. I noticed that little changes have a big impact. For example, when I started standing up for myself, I started off small, using the word “no”. In my mind, I had to protect my mental stability, but by stating no it boosted my confidence and provided me with a stronger voice in the room. I admire my youngest sister. When she was younger she went to the doctor and he told her she had scoliosis, and one of her legs is shorter than the other. True story: she came home and determined she did not want scoliosis and a bend in her back, so she started walking straighter, sitting up straighter and a little while later she went back to the doctor and he told her, “Good job, making those small changes” because she warded off scoliosis. I want to be like that. I want to be so determined to have good health that these small changes do not negatively affect my life but enhance the quality and feel of it. So, I read books, walk the dog, continue to swim, and have my sister call me out when I am slouching and hopefully one day, I will no longer slouch.

Mentally, I want to be in good mental health. As I mentioned above, I want to be able to think with a sound mind, speak clearly, and articulate the world around me. To continue as I am now and even advance my mentality I have to continue to stretch my mind, I will not say much about this one as I have written all about it before. Again, it is important to be able to focus and work on memory.

Financially, I want to be wealthy. I do not want to be rich, yes, there is a difference. Growing up, I thought rich was the thing to be but as I got older I realized richness can be lost but not wealth. Being wealthy means living comfortably with no worries, compared to being rich, which would be living decently with worries. There should be a point in my life where I am no longer worried about what I spend or if I will have enough in retirement, that is the point of wealth. There are steps to get here too! There are ways to have money compound so that in a year or so, the amount of money in an account has doubled. There is debt to pay off because wealthy people do not have debt! This means I have to work hard and create additional income streams while not losing sight of who I am or God.

This leads me to where I see myself spiritually. Spiritually, I see myself as God sees me. Successful, still giving him glory and praise. I see myself in constant communication with Jesus, I see myself as an even greater servant of Jesus Christ. There are steps to get to this place as well that I need to take. I need to continue reading my Bible, pray more, and focus on Heaven rather than the problems that this world presents. With God on my side, all of this and more is possible.

The time to start building is now. No more putting it off for a better time, because there may not be a better time than now. This is what I will be focusing on, building my future for the best version of Rhonda in all aspects; physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually.

It is important to say what needs to be said, even when it may hurt the other person. When the message is delivered it needs to be short, concise, and a true depiction of one’s vantage point. If it is a personal feeling then express it. If it is fact-based then say it! I read that females tend to most commonly speak from emotions whereas males tend to speak based on facts. This is especially true in the workplace. There have been instances where I have said, “I feel like…” and the response is “Well, I am sure they did not mean it like that” or something of the sort. However, when I say on this date, this and that happened, which is the definition of discrimination or whatever, the response is very different. The complaint or discussion is now viewed as credible.

When outside of the corporate culture environment, it does not matter if what needs to be said is emotionally charged or fact-based, just say it! The feelings a person have is valid. I also learned that it is important to remember that all words have power, but the power is in the delivery. If I was at work and I said I feel like the team is discriminating against me, that will get the attention of HR, the Manager, and anyone else with a title that is privy to that information. If I say, I feel like they hurt my feelings, that has little power, people in the workplace are not invested in your feelings. However, telling a partner or family member they hurt your feelings could be powerful if they love you because they are invested.

Back to saying what needs to be said, a part of maturing is the ability to express oneself in a manner that is comprehensible to different persons. A person that I used to report to, had a bad habit of trying to tell me what I was saying. He would say things like, “Did you mean…?” or “I think you meant…”. My response one time was “No, I said what I meant and meant what I said.” His reaction was, “Oh, okay…” and he stopped trying to tell me what I meant.  I have learned and would like to share with you all: NEVER LET PEOPLE TELL YOU, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN OR HOW YOU FELT because you do!

Another important lesson is: DO NOT LET PEOPLE LEAVE OR DIE WITHOUT EVER SAYING WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID. Sure, it is uncomfortable, but the sense of relief that will be felt is worth being uncomfortable. I used to let people leave and I would dwell on the things I should have said and felt like if I go back to it now, then it is too late. How do I fix this now? I say what needs to be said. Just say it, the worst is that the other person will be mad and may not speak to you again. Well, good because they probably do not deserve you anyways. Just say it!

I have developed a new skill, viewing situations from different perspectives. I did not realize I possessed this skill until one day I turned a problem around. Thus, I began practicing this method of seeing the world differently. For example, when people ask me to assist them. I have an option to only view this request through my eyes. The response may be, “Why? Or don’t they know I am busy?”. Looking at it from their perspective, if they asked me then they must need something or there is no one else to ask. From Jesus’ perspective, “Would it hurt you to assist?”

Being able to view situations from different vantage points has its benefits. It allows me to remain humble because I can assist someone in need. It also allows me to put myself in their situation, I find myself asking questions such as, “What would I do if I was in their situation?”. I used to not be able to see some situations through the eyes of others, but once I started practicing this skill, it led me to see the reason why some people respond the way they do. However, there are some people that I will never understand, despite the way I turn a situation, and that is okay.

I was able to develop this skill by putting myself in the other person’s shoes (hypothetically). I used to ask why people do the things they do, but either I will discover through looking from a different ledge or not. Again, if not, it is not worth knowing. Thinking about a common idiom, “there are two sides to every story”, meaning I may view something differently than someone else. But what happens if I choose to look at it from a third or fourth view? I get an even better picture of the situation. I always laugh when something happens and my sister says did you see that, I share what I saw and she says, “No, …”. Well, what I saw was not wrong it was just from a different angle. In an accident, the person that got hit from the back saw something, the person that hit the car in front saw something a little differently, and the car on the side that pulled over to testify to the police saw it slightly differently, perhaps a blend of both stories. The point is, if the time is taken to view situations from different angles, there would be less stress and anxiety. Because the angle it would be viewed from would be a thousand-foot view. The whole picture would be clearer.

The problems I face today, will not matter ultimately, because I am not taking any of these materials with me to Heaven. Thus, stand back, breathe, and look at everything from the current physical view, from an outsider’s view, and most importantly from Jesus’ view. Does it matter? Will it affect the future? What should the proper response be? Lately, my response has been “God will work it out or give me the answer as to how to handle this.” Or “I have been through something similar; this is how I will get through this.” It’s important to remember, as long as God is present, there is nothing to fear or worry about! Let Him do what He does: work it all out in favor. 

I will be another year older, and I still believe that I will never be too old to learn. I have had many opportunities in which I have been blessed to be able to learn different subjects. The most important lesson I have learned is being able to take care of my mental state. So many pressures exist in this world, along with so many sicknesses that if one is not careful, one could easily catch something or another. Even though there are so many reasons to keep extending the mind, I will highlight only a few.  

One benefit of learning is to improve one’s memory. By introducing oneself to new experiences or social events, it is easier to recall memories. I have heard people say they are unable to recall certain events or tasks, and I pray that no form of memory loss ever affects me. Thus, I try very hard to continue to stretch my mind through new experiences or learnings. As I continue to work my way through different jobs, I am able to experience different fields or take part in different social opportunities. The ability to recall people’s names and faces is really important when it comes to building new connections in the brain. As I continue to improve my memory, I know that I am at least trying to prevent memory loss.  

Another benefit of learning is mental stimulation. By reading or completing puzzles it allows the brain to be challenged and use the power of imagination. I have found that also through reading books my vocabulary has expanded along with the amount of information that I am able to retain. For example, by reading, I am able to recall what I read and share those facts or stories with someone else, proving that I am converting information from my short-term to the long-term memory bank. I love languages. In fact, I speak Spanish, and Russian, and know Arabic phrases. I used to be able to speak Arabic, but through my lack of practice, I am no longer able to string a sentence together. It is true what scientists have been saying, if one does not use the skills or talents they possess, it will be lost.  

My favorite benefit of learning is adventure. Every time I have chosen to expand my knowledge in a subject or take on another role, I have always learned something that I did not know before. I have learned about semi-trucks, food storage, finance, outdoor furniture and so much more. The ride has always been different and I am sure to ride it until it comes to an end, because there is so much to learn in the world. In this role I have now, I have learned about welding. To me, it has been the best learning so far. But there will be many other learnings and I am sure by the end of the ride there will be so many favorites that I will be unable to choose just one.

Speaking of the new role, one last little tidbit. One of my peers was sharing information with me, as I am still in training, and even though I knew the information already, it was important to listen. Because listening to others assists me in learning how different people approach problems or view data. And most importantly, as I mentioned above, I will never be too old to learn.

There is something so powerful in realizing who you are and standing firm on your beliefs. I have found my inner power, which continues to boost my confidence. If I had the opportunity to talk to the previous version of myself, I would let her know that the only thing that matters is being faithful to God and aiming to be righteous. I am sure that I would not have believed it. As I look in the mirror, I barely recognize my reflection in a good way. I appear poised. Standing tall, looking myself in the eyes, I speak positivity over my life and stand on God’s promises. She trusts that everything will work out in her favor despite the outlook. Through this transformation, I have faced my deepest fears, reflected on the beliefs that have caused doubts, and questioned who I am. This process was not easy, looking back. It caused me to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. I practiced self-love, built my confidence, forgave and forgot, and focused on heaven. I continue to do these tasks as well as enjoy life.  

Those fears ranged from being afraid of the dark and the monsters that lurk in the corners to speaking up for myself in any setting. Those beliefs ranged from believing I was mentally, physically, and emotionally weak to not feeling worthy. I learned to stop the negative self-talk, by first truly listening to what I say to myself, then responding with the opposite or acknowledging the outcomes and going for it anyways. I would rather be a person that tries instead of one that says, I should have, as I have done in the past. Reflecting on who I was at that moment and comparing that to the person I wanted to be was difficult. I imagined myself better, braver, nonchalant about problems, a person of action, and a person that stood up for myself and others. I imagined myself confident and ready to take on whatever came my way but instead, I was an avoider and felt better in the corner not being noticed or heard.

As I tell others, if you are not uncomfortable you are not growing. So, I took my own advice and decided to step out of the corner and speak up. This is the transformation. A healthier, confident Rhonda, who is not afraid to say no or provide an opinion. I also learned that sometimes, remaining quiet is also a power that many do not possess. Some people always have an opinion when oftentimes it is better to remain quiet and listen.

I have never felt better! I am not afraid of what the future holds or the problems that will come with it, because I know Jesus Christ walks with me, so what is there to fear? One of my favorite Bible verses found in Matthew 10:28 is, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Instead, fear the one who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.”   As I go forward as this new transformed person, I have found that I fill a sense of freedom, from expectations, people, and all of the evil that blankets Earth. I pray that everyone gets to experience this sense of freedom in some fashion as it is time to be positive and focus on oneself and the Lord God Almighty.

On Monday, I started my new job. It is going to be an interesting experience. The team’s tenure is about 3 years. It is a good thing for me because although I am the last addition, everyone is trying to understand their roles. From Monday until today, I have met so many people. Names are a little hard for me to recall but when I recognize someone, I wave or speak.

It has only been three days but so far so good. And there is this…

My first professional photo with natural hair. To be honest, it felt uncomfortable. I was unsure of how I felt about it. I know that now people are free to wear their hair naturally, but I could not help but to be overtaken by the idea that my hair did not look professional. It was neat and cute, but was it honestly professional? Well, who sets the standards of professionalism? I decided that I get to, up to a certain extent. I get to decide if my hair is neat enough or if my clothes are business casual to wear to work. It is good to feel uncomfortable sometimes because it challenges thoughts and beliefs that I have chosen to accept. Today, I chose to accept my natural neat hair in a workplace photo!