Trusting myself still does not come easy. However, I am a lot better at it than I was previously. A little bit ago, I used my gut to tell me that a situation at work was not going to get better until I dealt with it head-on. Thus, I did, and I am happy that I did. I proved to myself that what I know to be true is true. To make sure that I was not just making this up, I let the problem go on for about two days and then faced it. I have learned that people will go as far as you let them, and they will treat you the way you allow them to and I was not willing to be in that situation, again.
I previously wrote about how everyone is not a good instructor. Well, I trusted myself to take control of the situation to ensure that I got what I needed out of training sessions. The other day, my manager stated that he is happy that I am taking the initiative to complete assignments despite the lack of time he has had to train me. This initiative he speaks of is one of my strongest skills. I like being able to find ways to do tasks easier or present them better. I like figuring things out and making connections, rather than sitting around waiting on things to do. There was a point where I had to wait for him to give me work, but once he trusted me to complete one task, I leaned into other tasks. It also helped to have the team level set on my purpose for joining, as they all held their work close and were hesitant to show me how different operating systems worked and the tasks they worked on.
As far as cowering in the corner goes, I no longer cower but I manage to stand there instead and peel my back off the wall to walk into the new challenge. One day, there will not be a corner for me to run to and I look forward to that day. This is unfamiliar territory and it can be a little nerve-racking when someone asks me what I think and I have no idea. I find myself listening and learning a lot. I asked for a challenge and this new sector is a challenge. However, it is not the only challenge. I laugh every time I go to work because the team gets super excited over the new things to come in 2025, so I have to suffer in the current environment until 2025 if God still has me there. This could be a good place as long as I remain close to work related to the supply chain.
Trusting myself is not as hard as I thought it would be, once I started really listening to myself. I have to ensure myself that what I am hearing is not negative self-thought or me reading too much into a situation. I have to make sure that my mind is not making situations seem worse than they are before I act on my instincts.
All-in-all, while I have not mastered this skill, I am a lot stronger! The chain of self-distrust feels looser and like it will be falling soon. Praise the Lord!
Disencumbering my Chains 