I have never felt more free than I do right now. I have realized that there were many problems that I took on that were never mine to deal with. I have learned to live in moments and to try and create the best out of every moment. I learned to take note of what is important and to not worry about things or people that are not as important. Here’s what is important to me: God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, and spending an eternity with them. I heard someone say that we are worried about a quarter of our lives because we forget that there is 3/4ths of our lives after we leave this physical world. That means we spend a lot of energy worrying about this (time on earth): _____ when we have all of this (eternity): __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ left! That’s crazy. So, I decided I better start moving! I better start getting serious about what matters to me and living the life that I was called to live.
My family has problems, and what family doesn’t, but I realized those problems are not mine. They belong to those individuals. I also realized that I do not need to indulge in those problems or entertain those problems. I have worked on not speaking from a place of pain but a place of healing. My mom and I have not always gotten along but if she needs something, I do my best to assist. I am proud to say that I love my mom and that I enjoy making her smile and to hear her truly laugh from the soul. It is so good to have those moments because when we lose the people we love, we will only be left with those memories or moments.
Recently, my mom asked for a eulogy for her birthday or Mother’s Day. I did not think it was a good idea because my mother’s relationship with her children is different for each of us and while I would hope there are good memories, I did not believe that they would be shared. Then it hit me, that is not my problem. I cannot control other people’s experiences that they share with my mom, I can only try to create the best memories that I have with her. I wrote her a eulogy and did not think I would cry, but I did. Imagining that she is dead and lying there in a wooden box before she is cremated was saddening, and lonely and I only had the memories that I shared left. I learned another lesson. It is important to tell people how you feel about them while they are living because when they are gone, you will be talking to them praying that they hear you.
Last year, my mom asked for an adjustable bed, and I was going to get it for her but her stove went out. So, she chose a stove instead. This year, she asked for dental work. I made the appointments and we were ready but then her car stopped working. So, she chose a car instead. We found a reliable car that is also stylish like she is. To see her smile and to be overtaken by a joy that no one can steal is the work of God and Him alone.
I do not share this to say, “look at all the things I have done for my mom,” but instead to say, very rarely what you have is meant to be shared with just you. Often we drive past people that are begging for change, food, jobs, clothes, etc., and do not think twice. In the Bible, Jesus fed people, clothed people, and God led people to cities to preach to those who were unable to find a way back to Him. Wonder if, these small actions, not only confirmed to my mom that God is still with her, still blessing her but also to other people that watch me, like my little sister, store clerks, or bank tellers. Even though I did this for her, how many people looked at my actions and got a little closer to God or healed their relationship with their parent(s)?
This life is not about me. It’s about God and what He has for me when this is all over. I could have said, I do not have money for you, but the money was not mine in the first place. God provided it for me when He blessed me with this job. So, I might as spend it as He called me to.
Before I do things like this, I pray about it. I ask my council, God the Father, God the Son, and the Holy Spirit if I should do this. And every time I have acted, is every time that they confirmed that I should. See, how it is not about ___ but about __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ and no one will stop me from living an eternity with my Lord, Jesus Christ.
I learned that when I do not worry about what people think about me or say about me, I do not act as if I am under anyone’s influence. I am instead focused on what is important to me. The journey called life is not meant for us to travel alone but with people that we trust and love. I am glad that the people that are involved in my life, belong there, and if one day they do not, that is okay too because I pray that we will all meet again one day. I understand that we are all on different paths to the same place (with Jesus in heaven) and it’s okay.
Stay blessed and remember, it is not about you but about the life the Lord Almighty has for you to lead. Let go, move forward, and get serious about your destiny.
Disencumbering my Chains 