Hello everyone,
Thank you for your patience with me during this hiatus. I took some time off to get back to basics and to focus on what’s important. I started to relapse into who I was somewhat, but I caught myself enough to know that the old Rhonda is not who I want to be.
It has been hard to focus on God lately, but I keep trying. Before the New Year, I asked everyone to pray with us, and my family members felt a certain way about the request. The Bible says do not rely on your own understanding; that could be because people misinterpret statements and intentions. I intended to have my family pray simultaneously; there is power in prayer, especially when a family comes together. After we got past this misunderstanding, it appeared that the issue was not with the request made but with me. Someone once told me, do not waste your time playing with the ignorant because you will never win; they are experts at the game. So, I did not waste my time trying to figure out why the issue was with me. I kept praying and pressing forward. Nothing God has is behind me; it is all in front of me.
January 30th, my mom asked us (her four girls) to join her in a Bible study. It was the start of bringing our family closer than we have ever been. We all knew that this would be a struggle but showing up meant that we were ready. Ready to fight for our relationships to be closer, fight to be closer to God and let Him lead the way, fight for what He has for us, and most importantly, that we are ready to fight for the souls of one another. Through this Bible study, we all have learned so much about each other, the pain we hold, the things we care about, and I love that it is a safe space to share our vulnerabilities and feelings with no one holding on to what was said. I thought we would never get to a place where we would be able to share such moments. Are we perfect? No, but we are working towards being the women, family members, and Christians that God wants us to be, and that is enough for me.
This Bible study has strengthened my faith in God. Previously I shared with you all that I was reading the Bible every day; well, I started slacking. I started on June 6th, and here it is a year later, and it is not complete. I noticed how determined I could be for an extended period and then have no motivation to carry on the next. The longest I went without reading was 13 days. I read the scripture for Bible study, but I did not read the Bible and spend time with God for 13 days, and I could tell the difference. He kept blessing me, waking me up, and starting me on my way, but it was different. I did not feel the burning desire to do anything extra or do any more than what was expected of me. A psychologist once said to me, how your house is, is how your mind is also. I started thinking, wow, my mind is cluttered like my house, cluttered with uselessness and dirt. And this is when I began to recognize the old Rhonda creeping back up like a slow-burning flame, accepting and settling instead of choosing and fighting for what I want. I doused it with water and began the fight to get closer again. Now I read the Bible every other day, but I will get back to it every day.
I also remembered that I had this blog, and I missed it. Sharing things that I’ve learned, experiences and letting them go. This is my way of letting it all go!
Our dog died in January from cancer, and now we have our cat. We tried to get our cat a friend, but the other cat kept attacking her, so we returned the new cat. Then we were going to get a dog, but the car kept going out. We asked each other if that was a sign not to get it. It had to have been because we don’t have the dog today.
About this car, recently my car started going out. I told the Lord, I’ll wait until I get out of a little more debt before I’ll buy a car. He obviously said no, because the car I had no longer picks up. I was going 30 MPH on the highway with my hazard lights on. I found a new car that I love, a 2021 Chevrolet Tahoe Z71. The dealership let me bring it home since I am approved for the loan. Now I am waiting on a tiny detail so that my car buying process is complete. It seems that everything I do is always a process.
Speaking of processes, I began the process of finding a new job. Finally, I found one within the international sector, and I am excited. The role is more project management than data analytics, which is fine because I will learn new skills and use what I already know. My second and final interview is this Thursday, and I believe this is my job. I am praying that the salary is where I need it to afford the new lifestyle that I want to have. That does not mean splurging, but it does include one big trip a year.
My birthday is in August, and I was planning on going camping and hiking, but I bought a car instead, which is more important. Sometimes one has to choose between wants and needs. I always select my needs rather than wants because my wants are not necessities but nice to have. I look forward to God’s next chapter in my life that includes this new job and yearly travel.
It is crazy how God has been moving in each of my family member’s lives. I am most excited about the blessing that God has given my youngest sister. She graduates with her Bachelor’s in December. I am so proud of her because she thought she couldn’t do it, society thought she couldn’t do it, but with God, she did. She has one class left, then done! I asked her what’s next, her Masters? She said NO! I am going to get a job as a copywriter, proofreader, or editor. With zero experience, it may seem impossible, but with God, nothing is off-limits. Thus, I am excited to watch her flourish and become the woman that God has designed her to be. As I close out today’s blog, all I can think is but God. But God wouldn’t let me fail, but God wouldn’t bring me this far to leave me, but God wouldn’t let me die, but God wouldn’t let society decide my little sister’s fate. God is awesome, and life is good, even through the bad times. Remember, all of the times you could have been worst off and say with a smile, “but God.”
Disencumbering my Chains 